No matter what!

Its been a long journey thus far. Knowing there is something wrong with my child, fighting for doctors to listen, a wild goose chase for various specialists and tests to rule out ridiculousness. And now we are here. Now we know. Now everything is confirmed. All of my suspicions,  concerns, and intuition were right...and then some. Im no longer that "crazy mom", or am I? The one time I wish I was wrong, the one time I wish I could fix it, and I cant. All I can do is grieve, get over it, move on and continue fighting, advocating and doing my best. I cant emphasize enough how much I am NOT a nurse at home. Im just mom. I have a new found appreciation and respect for the parents of the children entrusted to my care and skills. Does it make it easier to care for my own special needs child? No, not really, but when it comes to getting her the help and care she needs, absolutely!  Imagine if I didnt pick up on the little things as early as I did. We would still be scratching our heads and abiding by the pediatricians "wait and see" approach.  So being that "crazy mom" paid off. We got the answers, we are on the right path and getting Jaylyn the therapies and services she needs. Im done blaming myself, but with all of the red flags, tests, monitoring, exposure to contaminated water and vinyl chloride, something is to blame. Something was missed. Something was overlooked. I was looking through all of the ultrasound pictures I had while pregnant, and I found one that you can clearly see the malformation in Jaylyn's brain in utero. The date of the ultrasound was in April of 2013, 4 months before Jaylyn was born. Negligence does not even begin to describe my prenatal treatment. There is a laundry list of things that had gone wrong while I was pregnant. I can sit here and go through the "what ifs" and "if onlys" all day long. It will not change the way Jaylyn is, it will not make me feel any better, it will not change anything for the better. However, I hope this can help someone, somewhere. Never give up! I know, no matter what, I wont.