Looking at my calendar, if you squint, all of the appointments entered make it look like it has chicken pox. Today, I realized Jaylyn will be 11 months old this coming week! Wow, where does the time go? Im enjoying a few stolen moments to myself in the kitchen while I make dinner, so I look up what milestones an 11 month old should be meeting. And now....I just want to cry. Why do I keep doing this to myself? Why do people feel the need to force advice as if its going to "fix her"? We got stood up for a "play date" last week and I cant help but wonder if its because Jaylyn is different. Why did I get my hopes up that Jaylyn could have a little friend? And why was I so hurt and dissapointed? After all, its not the first time, and Im sure it wont be the last. I don't want Jaylyn to grow up feeling the way I felt. Having to be independent at a much too early age, your own best friend, and not being able to rely on people when she needs friends, family, or help. She is only 11 months old so she doesn't realize what being stood up means or feels like, but I hurt for her. It hurt me. This is just one of many times in her life someone will be inconsiderate. She is a red head. If she does take after me, she will be little miss independent with a fuck the world attitude to protect the fragile heart underneath.
No comments:
Post a Comment