As a nurse, I have seen all sorts of seizure activity . From the violent convulsive type, to the staring spells that are easily mistaken as day dreaming. So when Jaylyn had her first seizure, I knew to time it, monitor her vital signs and call her pediatrician. Jaylyn has complex partial seizures. She will space out, become a rag doll, have episodes of blinking, and briefly stop breathing. Jaylyn's seizures are so infrequent and brief in duration that it has been difficult to capture these events on video to show her neurologist. All that we do know is what we were told. Basically I feel as though Im waiting for the other shoe to drop. We were told to expect worsening seizure activity as she gets older. We cannot get any guarantee that this will be controlled. We cant get any guarantee that the worsening seizures wont be her demise. We cant get a guarantee that she will be one of the lucky ones that lives into her 20s. Just today I was having a conversation with my 2 older children. My son was admiring an elderly couple and commented that its nice to see them still together. My 11 year old daughter then began asking what she and her brother and various other family members would look like when they get old. And then she asked about Jaylyn. How do I tell her that is not going to happen? I am all for being optimistic but I am a bigger fan of realism. There are no guarantees in life. Not even with children. Love them every day!
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